Are you lying to yourself? I do. But, I learned to recognize when I'm coming up with excuses and lying to myself and when the reasons are real. This helped me work on my goals without coming up with sabotaging excuses that would stop me from taking action. Instead, I get real with myself, recognize saboteurs, and find out how to overcome them. As a result, I keep proving to myself that fear is never bigger than my goals.
Do you get mad when people lie to you? I'm sure you hate that. But then you do the same to yourself in a sneaky way, sometimes not even realizing how much harm it's causing you in the long run. Honestly, I was not aware of it for a long time.
Now it's time to get real!
I'm sure you're curious about what were my lies. So, here are some:
My biggest lie was "I don't have time," which led me to procrastinate on the action steps crucial for my goal. And I would procrastinate so much that I'd always prove that statement right - I really didn't have time. How would I have time when I wasted most of it? But when I finally decided to take action no matter what and do every task from my to-do list, I realized it was such a lie. So, if your excuse is "I don't have time," just so you know, it's a LIE!
Now, my second biggest lie came up during my weight loss journey. I had some issues with my thyroid, so I blamed it for not being able to lose weight. It's not MY fault! Can't do anything about it. It was easier to give up responsibility instead of making an effort. And I looked for evidence to support my theory. The more evidence I gathered, the more I was sure I was right. Until I openly asked my doctor about it, and of course, she said it was not true. My thyroid was functioning well. That's when it hit me. I was trying to come up with all kinds of excuses. And the only thing I needed to do was take responsibility and ownership of my journey.
I tried to escape feeling uncomfortable and going through potential pain by telling myself I couldn't afford to hire a personal trainer. I had a valid excuse. It is what it is. You see how our brain can be tricky, guys. Until I got real with myself and made a list of all benefits from hiring a personal trainer. Instead of telling myself, "I can't afford it," I started asking myself, "How will this investment help me get where I want to be?"
What was the truth, then? The truth was I was terrified of investing time and money and then failing, not getting what I wanted. I was afraid I couldn't do it. So, if I just avoid doing it, I won't risk feeling like a failure and defeated.
Why did I do this? Because it was easier to stay where I am and avoid putting in extra effort, experience possible pain, and feel uncomfortable. I'd feel comfortable where I am because I made myself believe it's not something I can control. Circumstances are to blame. In that way, I'd stay calm and peaceful for some time. But then, in the long run, lying to yourself and avoiding taking control will cause even much more pain, dissatisfaction, and disconnection from who you are and want to be.
Now let's check your excuses. What are you lying to yourself?
Are you lying when you say that you don't need to strive for a better position or earn more money? You lie to yourself that where you are right now is good enough, and you don't need anything more than that. But then, when you see your colleague or a friend gets a promotion or find a new, better-paid job, you get triggered and feel jealous. Deep down, that's what you want for yourself, but the fear and belief that it's not possible stop you from even trying.
Or maybe your dream is to have a successful business one day, but you think it's only reserved for the lucky ones. So, you lie to yourself that it's not possible for you and that you shouldn't even try. You'd just end up wasting your time and being disappointed. Better be happy with the job you have and the money you're making. Let's just be real and grateful for what you already have. It's safer than getting into the unknown. Is this you? Is this your lie?
Or when you hate your job but you tell yourself it's still not the right time to start looking for another job. So you stay at that job lying to yourself by coming up with a valid enough excuse such as "It's not the right time." And you truly believe in that thought. But the longer you wait, the unhappier you become.
So, how will you be able to recognize when you're lying to yourself and when the reasons are valid?
If you're truly happy and fulfilled with where you're right now in your career, you'll know by your reaction and emotions you have when you see someone else's success. On the other hand, if you feel envy, jealousy, or anxiety, that's your true self trying to tell you - this is possible for you too. This is when you need to get honest with yourself, stop making excuses and start going after your dream.
How can you stop doing this to yourself?
Allow yourself to imagine your life a year from now - play big and imagine even what might seem impossible to you right now - What do you do? Where are you? What kind of people are you surrounded with? What do you hear? How do you feel? What do you look like?
When you envision your future a year from now, and you feel relaxed, happy, satisfied, passionate, or motivated - that's what you need to strive for? That's what you truly want for yourself.
What would you tell me if I'd ask you this now: "If you knew for sure that you'd be able to reach your goal, would you go for it? Or would you stay where you are now?"
Be honest with yourself about your dreams and goals, even if it might seem impossible now. You would never even want it in the first place if it's not something you can do it. You owe it to yourself.
Take control and give that power back to yourself. The only thing you need to do is be willing to face the uncomfortable, scary, and challenging things. Then, do the work, bump into an obstacle, learn from your failure, and try something different until you succeed.
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