Are you keeping yourself stuck by thinking you're confused and telling yourself I don't know what to do or how to do it? As a result, you're spinning in confusion, avoiding taking action. And the longer you tell yourself, "I don't know," the more you believe it's true.
But guess what - You just think you're confused, and that's what keeps you stuck.
The good news is that you can either choose to stay confused and not take action OR acknowledge that you feel confused right now and that nothing went wrong. You don't know what to do now, but that doesn't mean you won't figure out how to gain clarity to move forward.
When you focus on being confused, you attract more of it. Then, you feel even more confused, and it seems as you'll never be able to get past that. Instead, when you focus on where you want to be and how you want to feel, you open up to receiving possible solutions. Your brain starts working for you, not against you.
The difference between a fixed mindset and a growth mindset is in perspective.
Fixed mindset: I'm confused. I don't know what to do, and there's nothing I can do about it. It's not under my control.
Growth mindset: I don't know what to do, but I can figure it out.
Here's when I usually find myself being confused:
1. When I have a goal, trying everything to reach the goal, taking action but not getting the results I want
This is usually when I go like, "I don't know what to do. I've tried everything, and it's not working."
Really? The first thing you need to do is be honest with yourself and stop lying you've tried everything. Have you really tried everything? That's what I like to ask myself. And if you haven't tried everything, what are some other things you can do? How can you do it differently?
2. When I'm about to do something I've never done before, I tell myself, "I don't know how to do it. I'm confused."
Now, it is true that I don't know how to do it because I've never done it before. But what we do to ourselves is tell a story that BECAUSE I've never done it before, I don't know how to do it so I won't be able to do it. This is where you need to shift your mindset into: "I've never done it before, BUT that doesn't mean I won't be able to learn how to do it."
You can choose to think I don't know and do nothing about it or you can choose to think, I can learn how to do it - so let's see what I can do - what should be the first step?
And then start asking yourself these questions: What can I do to learn how to do it? How can I find the resources? Who can help me? Who can support and guide me?
3. When I need to make an important decision
Making an important decision is never easy. But the longer we put off making a decision, the more confused we are. What should I do? I don't know. What if I make a wrong decision? I'm confused.
Instead, start with these questions: What can help me make a decision? What's best for me at this moment? What's the worst that can happen if I make a decision and it turns out to be the wrong one? What can I do if it happens? How can I make my decision right?
Sometimes you just need to take a risk, listen to your intuition, and then do everything to make that decision right.
Anyway, whatever your reason for being confused is, there's a way out. It's your choice whether you want to stay in confusion or take action and gain clarity. Don't torture yourself by staying confused. It's so much easier and lighter on the side of clarity.
Maybe the first step you need to take is intentionally changing your thought into - I just think I'm confused. I'm not.
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