I'm about to turn 34 this coming July. When I look back at myself 10 years ago, I had no idea where I wanted to be, much less who I wanted to become in 10 years.
As much as I'm happy with where I'm right now, I can't imagine not having a vision of the next 10 years ahead of me. Even just the thought of living without goals or vision and leaving everything to turn up as it's supposed to frightens me. Now that I'm 10 years older, I don't want to entertain the belief that life happens to me anymore. I want to be in the driver's seat for the next 10 years and intentionally create the life I want.
But who does ever think about who they want to become in the future? OK, planning, goal setting, and thinking about what you want to achieve are pretty common. However, who you want to be as a person is not something you intentionally think about or plan.
Why is that so? Probably because we rarely ever even think about who we truly are now. We are so used to chasing our dreams and goals, trying to achieve more and become more. TO BECOME MORE. Have you ever had that feeling that you want to become more? But then you never define that "more." What is that "more"? If you don't know what "more" is, how will you know once you get there?
Over the years of working on myself, I learned that WHO you become while working on your goals is way more important than WHAT you achieve or do not achieve. That's why we should start setting a goal based on who we want to become instead of what we want to achieve.
If I ask you now who you want to be in 10 years from now, you would probably say I don't have a clue. And you probably wouldn't even bother thinking about that 'cause it's too far ahead. But let's say your goal is to lose weight. Instead of focusing entirely on the end results, e.g., losing 20 pounds, you should start thinking about who is that person who's 20 pounds lighter. What does she eat? What does she wear? What's her lifestyle? What's important to her? How does she show up? How does she feel? What's her dream job? What does her day look like? When you answer these questions, you will know what kind of person you want to become. And that's when "who you become" starts being more important than losing those 20 pounds.
You can apply these questions to any goal you have. For example, who do I want to be as a career woman? Who do I want to be as a friend, girlfriend, sister, wife, mother...? If your dream is to become an entrepreneur and have your own business, what kind of woman do you need to be? How does she show up for her business? How does she feel? How does she negotiate? What's her purpose in life? What's her working style? What does she think about herself?
Once you set a goal and answer the questions, you get to practice being that woman every day. Do things that your future self would do. Show up the same way your future self would show up. Think and feel the same way she would.
Do you ever pass by a woman in the street or look at your colleague or a boss and wish to be just like her - confident, bold, successful, well-dressed. You can be her NOW. So, don't wait to lose 20 pounds to feel confident. Don't wait to become a manager to see yourself as successful. Instead, be the person you want to be TODAY.
The mistake we make is thinking we first need to achieve something or have something in order to be the person we want to be. That's not true. We can already be that person today because the only difference between us now and the person we want to become is how we see ourselves, what we think about ourselves, and how we feel.
If you're among the lucky ones already happy with who you are, I just have one question for you to think about - What can you do to stay true to yourself for the next 5 or 10 years? How can you maintain your authenticity?
Have fun thinking about who you want to become. Be curious about who you are and who you want to be. It doesn't have to be 10 years from now. Visualize who you want to be 1 year from now. Who is she? What does she like doing? What does she dream about? Be playful, and don't take yourself too seriously.
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